The 3D fad is dying down. Or at least is relaxing a bit. Gone are the days when any and all films that May (or May Not) have a chance to squeeze out a couple of dollars with a hasty third dimension conversion squeak into the multiplexes every other week. Remember Waaay back in 2010? “Yogi Bear”? M. Night’s raping of “The Last Airbender”? And, of course, the beginning of the end- “Clash of the Titans” which should have been taglined “Sorry” Now 3D films are few and far and usually have at least a sequence or two that warrants the effect. “Oz” the Prequel may be lacking but the thing sure did look pretty.
While the appetite may be cooling, we still have these 3D re-releases to deal with. Now I’m not against the idea. I recently saw the “Jurassic Park” conversion (in theaters 4/5) and it was awesome. Re-issues, in fact, were very common pre-Home Video days when that was the only way to see a film again save for 16 mm print. Seeing the classics on the big screen has a huge appeal to me. I’m so excited I’ve taken to wearing adult diapers to these screenings.
So far the only films to be re-released have been popular Disney cartoons, “Star Wars” and “Titanic”. In other words, the Big Boys. They have been averaging about $40 to $50 Million dollars in Box Office as the masses do not seem to be clamoring for more. Yet more sits perched on the horizon. After “Jurassic Park” we get “The Little Mermaid” (Sept. 13), “Star Wars Episode 2” (Sept. 20) followed quickly by “Episode 3” (Oct. 4). And while I detest the fact that Lucas has found YET ANOTHER WAY TO MAKE MONEY OFF OF THESE MOVIES AGAIN, I will not protest the fad. I’m just bummed that the options have been so narrow.
Why not give the 3D treatment to movies that may not be the biggest blockbusters of all time? Why draw the line there? If you can spend $10 Million to Make $20 Million, why not? So I have some suggestions that have probably been overlooked.
1- “My Dinner with Andre”. If you don’t know this movie, seek it out. This 1981 Louis Malle film features two men sitting at a table, talking. Imagine this in 3D!!! It would be like being at the table as Andre Gregory waxes about experimental theater. Mind Blown!!!
2- “Driving Miss Daisy”. I’d pay the 3 dollar up charge for a ride in that passenger seat. The sweet racism of old white people would be even more laughable with the extra dimension. Might even be a contender for Smell-O-Rama too?
3- Any Meg Ryan Romantic Comedies from the Eighties and Nineties. I know you’re thinking “When Harry Met Sally” right out the gate but I’m thinking you should start with “Joe Vs. The Volcano”. I guess these don’t really need to be converted to 3D. Or re-released for that matter. But at least they should all be available on Netflix.
4- “Oliver and Co.” Disney seems to be the one most into the 3D re-release so why not give the treatment to the bad ones. Follow Ollie with “Fox and the Hound 2” and “The Black Cauldron”. I know there are fans out there but these films truly reflect a sad time in Disney history, so why not re-visit in 3D!!!
5- “The Matrix” I’m not kidding about this one. The first one only though. Please. I need to see “The Matrix” 2 and 3 again about as much as I need to see the “Star Wars” prequels again. Which is to say I don’t need to see them again.