First I think it’s important to make clear that I actually live in the San Diego area. Attending the annual cluster-pile that is Comic Con is not a trek for me. Also, if I play my cards right, I can leverage the site and obtain a Press pass and attend the event for free. I truly appreciate that I have been able to attend the Con for the last three years and cover the event. But even with these things as truth, I bowed out this year because I can’t stand it anymore.
Over the last few years Comic Con has grown too huge to contain itself and has devolved into an exercise in Line-Wait Torture that kills the fun. To campout over night for the privilege of seeing 4 minutes of Avengers footage doesn’t make sense to me. Sure, I can’t wait to see the movie but I will not push myself to near-insanity to say that “I was there” when I can read the synopsis of all that happens online before the roar of Hall H settles back to a mummer.
This is what I learned from the comfort of my own cell phone:
– Chris Nolan’s new flick Interstellar is going to be confusing and fantastic.
– There are huge battle scenes in the final Hobbit flick. Considering its called The Battle of the Five Armies we saw that coming.
– Sam Raimi is claiming that he’ll make an Evil Dead television show that will star Bruce Campbell. We shall see. Raimi talks a lot of big talk about Dead and very little happens.
– Batman is going to wear battle armor right out of Frank Miller’s Dark Knight graphic novels. This isn’t coming out for two more years so more to come on that.
– Avengers is going to huge, crazy, awesome. We knew that. They showed some Ant-Man love but was very tight lipped regarding the other 18 or so movies that Marvel plans to make by 2019. No big news there.
– Chris Hardwick is awesome.
– Wonder Woman’s costume kinda sucks.
– There will be a Godzilla sequel with Mothra in it.
– They are making another King Kong called Skull Island. Surprised Peter Jackson isn’t going back to the material like he did with The Hobbit. Why make something new when you can make the same thing? Am I right?
– No Star Wars love.
Today there will be some minor T.V. action and all that jazz. Whatever.
You see, last year I did the Saturday Hall H thing. Got there at about 4 a.m. and had to cut inline because even though I had arrived in the wee hours, there was no way of making it in without cheating. I am still ashamed….
I had some rum with me and consumed it fast. Made some friends. Sobered up and was hung over before the doors even opened at 10 in the morning. Then you get in the room and the mind-numbing actually begins. Panel after panel. Throngs of stars are paraded in and footage is shown. Promises are made (Del Toro was once going to make a Haunted Mansion movie) and people scream quite constantly. They only serve horrifying food that belongs in a high school cafeteria. This food, mixed with the rum, gave me stomach “issues” and I spent much of the day waiting in line (MORE LINES???!!!) to sit on the toilet. The smells in the place as thousands of nerds release their inner hell in one confined area was unbelievable. The Horror.
At the end of the day, they announced that the new Avengers movie was going to have the word Ultron in the title and that was that. I felt beat up and abused. Sweaty, exhausted and confused. I had been bitch slapped by Comic Con. I did not make the same mistake this year.
Despite my negative view of what Comic Con has become, I’d like to finish up by stating that I do love the idea of a bunch of nerds coming together and celebrating their never-ending childhood together. There is a beauty in it and a safety I feel among those people. My people.
I just think they need to build a bigger boat. Figure out how to accommodate the beast. I can’t imagine living on the East Coast, jumping on a plane, paying $1,000 for a hotel room, dressing up like Rainbow Brite and then not being able to go see the True Blood panel because I didn’t get in line 3 days ago like the rest of the nuts. Not fair. Not ok.
I’d rather sit home and sulk.
p.s. I’m probably going next year…..