“Drunkboat” is one of those small, indie movies that never made it to the multiplexes. Completed in 2010, the drama is actually just making its way to DVD and for good reason: It just isn’t very good. What makes the movie notable at all are some decent performances from a celebrated cast that includes John Malkovich, John Goodman and Dana Delany. If, for some reason, you have made it a life’s mission to see every film on any one of these gifted actor’s filmographies, then you must see “Drunkboat”. Otherwise, feel free to skip it. It wasn’t on the radar so it should be rather easy to leave there among the ether.
Not that the film is horrid, it just lacks any special qualities with the exception of a great Malkovich monologue involving Vietnam and some unlucky chickens that gives a glimpse into the fractured mind of Uncle Mort, the drunkard that stumbles through this story. Goodman barrels his way through the proceedings and Delany just seems happy to have some work. The film is fleeting and slight and these are the hardest reviews to write.
See, when a film is wonderful, it makes for an easy sell. I piece together some fancy words that mean “great” and “amazing,” then I run around preaching the reasons why everyone, Mothers and children, Christians and criminals, should see that movie. On the opposite side, same coin, when a film is rotten I can put on my mean face and scowl my way through 600 words damning the filmmaker and all his children for putting us all through such rancid drivel. When a film is vanilla and runs right down the middle without the common decency to either enlighten or annoy, things get tough and I’m left waxing about why I have nothing much to share as opposed to sharing nothing much.
I will continue with the required Synopsis: Mort (Malkovich) is a hardcore alcoholic who returns to his sister, Eileen’s (Delany) home with the intent to straighten out. He is distant and broken and apparently was once a pretty good poet. Eileen has a son, Abe (Jacob Zachar), who is a romantic type who dreams of sailing the seas one day. There is also a pair of criminals named Mr. Fletcher (John Goodman) and Morley (Jim Ortlieb) who sell rotted out boats to unsuspecting. Abe wants a boat (connection and conflict) and tries to get poor Uncle Mort to assist.
That’s about it. The film is filled with broken people with nothing much for them to do. The dialogue has a stilted, metered cadence that makes it sound as if it were translated from a stage play. It was not, however, it just sounds like it is. First time director Bob Meyer landed a great cast somehow but did not have the capability of leading them any where worth going.