Since I was eight years old my personal list of the top 3 Great American Heroes has remained the same:
1) Kermit the Frog
2) Amelia Earhart
3) Jim Henson
But now my rather redundant list is about to get an overhaul. After witnessing “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” Kermit has some major competition. It turns out that our 16th president not only abolished slavery and delivered some spectacular speeches that rivals anything Scottish Mel Gibson ever spouted in “Braveheart” but he also saved our beloved country from a horrid scourge of vampires.
While not all materials in the film may be true, the filmmakers do manage to serve up a bit of a warped history lesson with their cheese. I’m pretty sure that, reel for reel, there are actually more facts in “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” than Oliver Stone was able to manage in “Nixon,” “JFK” and “W.” all combined.
It was in 1811 when a very young Lincoln lost his mother. She seemed to be suffering from some unknown disease and she passed quickly and painfully. His father and the doctor were baffled but Lincoln knew the truth, he has seen something creep into their home the night before and FEED upon her. It was an evil local merchant named Jack Barts (Marton Csokas) that he saw that night, and years later Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) returns to have his revenge and place a musket ball in the villain’s head. The ball finds its place without issue but Mr. Barts does not die, as he should. He is undead, you see, a walker of the night and Lincoln realizes that the evil is actually all around. It is then that the man in the stovepipe hat picks up his silver-edged ax and begins to bring the slaughter.
“Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” is incredibly entertaining and actually has a little more heart then would be expected. The film covers segments of his entire life and manages some nice, small moments here and there. The early scenes when Lincoln meets his future wife, Mary Todd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), have some sweet charm to them and the camaraderie between Lincoln and his vampire slayer mentor Henry Sturgess (Dominic Cooper) seems genuine.
Benjamin Walker is a perfect fit as Lincoln. He looks the part, gives the speeches a proper weight and swings the ax with ease. The film morphs Lincoln into a superhero, with incredible strength and some karate chops that would make Jackie Chan raise an eyebrow. Walker pulls it off, not an easy task, and you believe in him from the onset.
Director Timur Bekmambetov stages some gorgeous action that plays much like intricately choreographed dance numbers. This is par for the course as this is the man who gave us Angelina Jolie bending bullets in “Wanted” as well as his Russian-produced vampire fantasies “Nightwatch” and “Daywatch”. SEE THIS ONE IN 3D! Bekmambetov uses the extra depth to full advantage and the heads come flying right for you.
The easiest way to put it is this: If a movie called “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” sounds like a good time to you, go see this movie. It makes the most of the ridiculous premise and delivers spectacle and laughs. Maybe the current Presidential Candidates should look into producing a TV spot that features them walking, in slo-motion, surrounded by the corpses of fallen monsters that had met the end of their ax. Because as of right now, I’m voting for Lincoln.