The “Red Dawn” remake made me miss Communist Russia. Not necessarily the constant threat of nuclear destruction and I can do without images of an oppressed people waiting in huge lines in the snow for toilet paper. I’m speaking purely in the cinematic sense.
For the decades that followed the end of World War II and ended in the early 90s, Russians always made for a fantastic villain. Hell, we were lead to believe that the entire country was filled with bad guys that wanted to abolish our Great American Way of Life. This paranoia spawned some great Sci-Fi classics. Nearly all of the 50s and 60s Sci-Fi films featured an invasion by some alien race that wanted to take over our mind. See: “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” and “War of the Worlds”. Then the action movies of the 80s allowed for our national security to be upheld by a sweaty Stallone and a bulging Schwarzenegger. The Cold War gave us a common enemy. Now we watch the threat on T.V. with a sense of false security.
The Original “Red Dawn” was the ultimate Paranoia Propaganda film. Set in 1984, “Dawn” was about a Soviet attack right in the heart of America. We had always dreaded someone “pushing the button” but the idea of a Russian Airborne trooper landing in your back yard and taking your wife and children was a new, if not outlandish, idea. The film was pure make believe but it was timely and topical, a revenge fantasy that spoke to fears.
Because “Red Dawn” only made sense nearly 30 years ago, that should have been a red flag to makers behind the reboot. The essence of this new version is low intelligence and lazy that it borders on offensive. We do not have to remake every movie, do we? Regardless of relevance of the subject and idea? If this is how we are going to move forward, I propose a remake of 1987’s “Russkies” starring a young Joaquin Phoenix who rescues a stranded Russian sailor. Since that doesn’t really work in 2012, we’ll replace the Russian sailor with an Iranian one. Why not? We’ll still call it “Russkies” of course because it’s all about name recognition.
Not that director Dan Bradley didn’t tie the concept to the current day. Using one of the most heavy-handed expositions I’ve ever seen, the new “Red Dawn” opens with news footage pulled right off of today’s televisions. North Korea is the new Evil Threat. Funny thing: The movie was made with China as the invading enemy but the studios thought better of it so the switch was made and North Korea became the villain. No one likes North Korea so that seems a safe bet.
The soldiers drop down in Spokane, Washington (Not Colorado) and a group of high school kids lead by Chris Hemsworth (Not Patrick Swayze) makes it to the hills and quickly become expert guerilla warfare killing machines. In continuing with the general laziness of the project, these kids miraculously make this transition through a quick montage that is laughable. They truly should have gotten the rights to Trey Parker’s “It Takes a Montage” from “Team America: World Police” and fully embraced the stupidity.
“Red Dawn” has terrible internal logic mixed with some wooden performances that belong on a Tuesday night CW show. I don’t know which one. You pick. The love interests that have been added are pointless and distracting. Yet, I will have to admit, I did get a slight nostalgic thrill from the yelling of “Wolverines” from the rooftops. I’m easy though. Other than that, skip this one. Go see “Life of Pi” or “Rise of the Guardians” or “Skyfall” or…..anything else.
