I’m going to tell you what you already know.
There is only one thing that The Expendables 3 has going for it and it ain’t a smart script. It’s the cast. That is the only element that makes this project different from any other hum-drum bullet spraying flick but the film (like the entire series) refuses to capitalize on the potential of having all of these action heroes (to use the term very loosely) in one film.
Just look at this list:
Sylvester Stallone- He’s the driving force here with the screenplay credit but brings no Rambo to the party.
Jason Statham- Plays the younger(ish) guard right hand man. Kicks someone now and then but lends very little.
Harrison Ford- How did he get so incredibly old so fast? Has a couple scenes breaking down the exposition.
Arnold Schwarzeneggger- Chomping his cigar, he seems proud of himself with the delivery of every cheesy line. He is shrinking, right? Am I the only one that notices that he is easily 6 inches shorter than he used to be?
Mel Gibson- Playing the “bad guy”. Grins his way through the film. Has a decent scene with Stallone and is easily the best actor in the film. Too bad he’s such a hateful person in real life (allegedly).
Wesley Snipes- Has a fun opening scene as he is rescued from a prison train thing. Brings some life to the movie but is swept away after the opening act.
Dolph Lundgren- Most of his lines consists of chewing gum. He just stands around looking pretty.
Randy Couture- Hasn’t really shaken his stilted dialogue deliver held over from his wrestling days.
Terry Crews- Takes a bullet early and gets to sit this one out from the safe confines of a hospital bed.
Antonio Banderas- He has some fun as the manic talking Galgo. Shows up late and spices things up.
Kelsey Grammer- That’s right. Let’s play “one of these things is not like the other”. Kelsey Grammer does not necessarily scream Action! to me but he’s on the list. He has a scene trotting Stallone around the world introducing him to his new crew.
That’s right. New crew. Because even though they have herded this stellar cast of sweaty gentleman into one confined space the movie takes most of its time focusing on gathering a new batch of unknowns (including UFC female fighting champion Ronda Rousey) who subsequently have a quick scene and get captured. So the Original Guys can go rescue them.
Is this time well spent? If you’re going to the trouble of putting all of these dudes onto one poster shouldn’t the movie be about them?
And, while I’m ending every sentence with a question mark, why does pumping bullets into people WITHOUT showing blood make this a PG-13 movie? A hundred people die in this movie but because there is no red mist in the air, it’s fine for the kiddies.
Missed opportunity on many fronts.