Do you remember the original “Total Recall”? Based on a short story by Phillip K. Dick, the film was a twisted Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle that sent the bulging Austrian to Mars to save the planet for tri-breasted prostitutes and revolutionaries with little men growing from their stomachs. It was bizarre, incredibly entertaining and contained enough plot twists to make for Arnie’s smartest movie (which isn’t saying much, I realize, considering the man was in a movie where he was pregnant).
Now we have the modern retelling of “Total Recall” starring Colin Farrell in his requisite August released remake of a film over twenty years old. Last year’s entry was the moderately entertaining but forgettable “Fright Night” and next August I would like to see Mr. Farrell take a crack at “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” if he is taking suggestions. With “Recall,” the filmmakers have made some head scratching decisions that removes nearly every unique element from the original: No Arnold, No Mars and No Little Men sprouting from stomachs. You will see a tri-breasted prostitute. I guess that was the only thing worth keeping. By gutting the source material this “Total Recall” loses much of the excitement and fun of the original making for an utterly pointless retread.
The set up is interesting enough and starts out promising. It is over one hundred years in the future and most of the planet has been destroyed by chemical warfare. All that is left are two clusters of mankind: The United Federation of Britain and The Colony which is located on the other side of the planet. The well to-dos live in the bright-light metropolis of the U.F.B while the lowly workers eek it out in the rain-soaked slums of the Colony. These locations prove to be the best aspect of “Recall” and look as if they were plucked out of other films in the Phillip Dick Cinematic Universe. The buzzing cars and walls of moving advertisements are reminiscent of “Minority Report” while The Colony plays like a glossier version of the Los Angeles streets in “Blade Runner”. I would like to think this is homage but it is interesting that this movie has more in common with those Dick Sci-Fi flicks than the one it is supposed to be retelling.
We meet Douglas Quaid (Farrell) who keeps having bad dreams to the dismay of his lovely wife Lori (Kate Beckinsale). These dreams seem real and haunt Quaid who is stuck in the Colony and wishes for something more from life. Luckily, there’s REKAL, a place to go and have false memories transplanted in your mind so that you can be whatever you want. Quaid, a fan of Bond novels (which is setup by showing him reading a Bond novel, of course) decides he wants to be a secret agent who saves the world. Turns out that he actually is a secret agent and that saving the world remains to be seen. Or is he? Or not? Or whatever.
It is these questions that the film fails to establish. Where the original was enigmatic in its telling, leaving you guessing motives and what is actual reality, this go around never captures this mystery. Yes, the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie was more nuanced. The action is fine but can get assaulting and confusing at times. Len Wiseman, the man who brought us the first two “Underworld” films, directed “Recall”. The flying fists and feet here are comparably clunky. Kate Beckinsale, another “Underworld” alum, plays a wonderful baddie and embraces a role that combines both the Sharon Stone and Michael Ironside characters for the old version. Jessica Biel seems to relish the punching as well but adds very little.
Now if you don’t remember or never saw the original “Total Recall” this version may entertain but my recommendation would be to see out the Arnold version. Then follow it with “Kindergarten Cop”. That movie is hilarious. Maybe that can be Farrell’s August redux next year but instead of a cop he can be a real teacher and instead of kindergarten he can teach high school kids. Now that I’d like to see.