{"id":2633,"date":"2012-03-25T10:13:14","date_gmt":"2012-03-25T17:13:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cinemastance.com\/?p=2633"},"modified":"2012-03-25T10:13:14","modified_gmt":"2012-03-25T17:13:14","slug":"alvin-and-the-chipmunks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cinemastance.com\/?p=2633","title":{"rendered":"\u201cAlvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked\u201d Reviewed by my inner Five-Year-Old"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>
\n\u201cAlvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked,\u201d\u201d available on Blu-ray Combo pack, DVD and for download 3\/27.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sometimes this whole \u201cconstantly writing about movies\u201d thing can be difficult. While its great fun to conjure up reasons and theories why \u201cJohn Carter\u201d doesn\u2019t work and analyze the argument for why \u201cThe Huger Games\u201d does, some movies are just not supposed to be critiqued. Case in point: \u201cAlvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked,\u201d is firmly aimed at 5 year olds and it really doesn\u2019t matter what I say about it. <\/p>\n

This third install in the highly popular franchise holds nothing for me and I could spend the length of this review talking about how poorly constructed the plot is, how sad it is that Jason Lee and David Cross (who seems so very punk rock but contributes to drivel like this?) keep contributing to these messes and how much of a waste of talent it is that Amy Poehler, Anna Faris and Christina Applegate voice the Chipettes but are given absolutely nothing to do. And what is the allure of pop songs re-done with high-pitched voices? It is actually a little creepy to me. <\/p>\n

But what\u2019s the point in this exercise? I don\u2019t see one so I\u2019ve decided to tap into my inner-five year old (we\u2019ll call him Lil\u2019 Dave) and let him tell you about \u201cChipwrecked\u201d. For your notes, I was able to access my inner five year old by taking a half of a Xanax, swigging 2 ounces of 18 year old scotch and eating about a pound and a half of Jelly Belly jelly beans. I then watched the original \u201cClash of the Titans\u201d and \u201cThe Wizard of Oz,\u201d bought a Beenie Baby and some pogs and wrote the following:
\n\"\"<\/a>
\nAlvin review by Lil\u2019 Davey Pinson.<\/p>\n

\tI loved Alvin. It was funny and so was the other chipmonks. I liked the girl ones and the man in the bird suit was funny. I like it when Alvin sung songs and when the girl ones danced.
\n\tIn Alvin 3 the chipmonks go on a cruise and Alvin gets in trouble. Then they get off the boat with a kite and so does Dave and the man in the bird suit and they all go to an I land where the meat a girl who has lived there for a long time. Then a volcano explodes and there is treasure and they all sing Lady Gaga songs because they are cool. Alvin fights a honey badger and Simon thinks he is from french.
\n\tYou will like it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

That\u2019s all I wrote. I woke up the next day in some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pjs and this review written in crayon on the pillow next to me. I find the review brief but concise and I think Lil\u2019 Dave makes a couple good points about Alvin always getting in trouble. He does, you know? <\/p>\n

In summery: Your kids will love \u201cAlvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked\u201d and you will not. Just grin and bear it. You dug this grave yourself when you started procreating. Sorry.<\/p>\n

\tBlu-ray Special Features:
\n\u00b7\tMunk Music & Dance Machine \u2013 16 Songs
\n\u00b7\tMunking Movies in Paradise Featurette
\n\u00b7\tGoing Overboard with The Chipmunks
\n\u00b7\tEverybody Munk Now!
\n\u00b7\tAlan Tudyk, Chipmunk Appearance
\n\u00b7\t3 Music Videos \/ Sing-A-Longs
\n\u00b7\tFox Music Channel presents \u201cGrowing up Alvin\u201d
\n\u00b7\tFox Movie Channel presents \u201dIn Character with Jason Lee\u201d
\n\u00b7\t7 Extended Scenes
\n\u00b7\t3 Promotional Fun Featurettes
\n\u00b7\tChipwrecked: Coloring with Chipmunks App \u2013 Blu-ray Excusive<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cAlvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked,\u201d\u201d available on Blu-ray Combo pack, DVD and for download 3\/27. Sometimes this whole \u201cconstantly writing about movies\u201d thing can be difficult. While its great fun to conjure up reasons and theories why \u201cJohn Carter\u201d doesn\u2019t work and analyze the argument for why \u201cThe Huger Games\u201d does, some movies are just […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2638,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[1157,1293,1484,4341,5291,10425,11675],"class_list":["post-2633","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dvdblu-ray-reviews","tag-alvin-and-the-chipmunks-chipwrecked","tag-amy-poehler","tag-anna-faris","tag-christina-applegate","tag-david-cross","tag-jason-lee","tag-kids-movie-reviews"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cinemastance.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2633","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cinemastance.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cinemastance.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cinemastance.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cinemastance.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2633"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cinemastance.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2633\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cinemastance.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2633"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cinemastance.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2633"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cinemastance.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2633"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}